Gay men should stop being threatened by fujoshi
It’s still funny that I get called a misandrist for saying that gay men’s grievances with BL fetishization aren’t the same as lesbians’ grievances with their fetishization.
I’m probably the least misandrist person around. I don’t think mindlessly hating men is productive for feminism, and I believe misandry isn’t real on a material level. What I don’t understand is why it’s so hard for gay pick-mes to accept that gay fetishization isn’t the same as lesbian fetishization, especially when the “gotcha” examples most gay men use are BL or women shipping M/M, not porn or IRL fetishization.
A lot of gay porn (the IRL kind) is created for gay men, and a lot of gay cinema and literature is created by gay men for gay men. Even within media fetishization, gay men are in a better place than lesbians, because there’s a segregation between “gay media for gay men” and “gay media for women.” Gay men can just pick their lane (though in reality they barely read or watch, let alone support, gay creators, who often lament that gay men barely support them to begin with, lol).
“But a lot of gay romance media is made for women and by women!” Then support gay authors? And it’s not women’s fault for liking the romance genre in the first place. The statistics show women love all kinds of romance, whether straight, gay, or lesbian. Even then, what’s wrong with it? It’s harmless and doesn’t perpetuate homophobia. You can argue there are bad depictions, but I swear gay romance made by women is still less homophobic than mainstream media, which treats gay men as jokes, predators, or tokens.
In the lesbian case, a lot of lesbian porn is created by and for men while exploiting real women. Lesbians also get the short end of the stick when they’re harassed (sometimes being assaulted) by cishet men who see them as a porn category rather than as human beings. At least a lot of lesbian cinema and books are still made by lesbians, so that part isn’t bad, but I can’t say the same for video games and porn, lol. A lot of mainstream media also still depicts lesbians for men’s comfort, made by queerphobic male creators who can’t stand seeing men be homosexual.
I don't get how being critical of this means I am misandry, maybe I might sounds dismissive to gay men concern but is it wrong to think this is such first-world problem.
Again, in this patriarchal society we can see who gets the worst of it. There’s an imbalance here: both groups face the same level of fetishization, but one gets it far worse. There are many cases of lesbians being beaten or harassed by cishet men for refusing to kiss or perform lesbian fetish acts. Meanwhile, it’s rare for fujoshi to actually harass gay men, let alone be violent. The worst they usually do is be cringe, like asking gay men whether they’re seme or uke, but that’s something you can just ignore, y’know? Most of these cringe fujoshi are young teens who don’t know better or have never met a gay person IRL. Sure, there are homophobic fujoshi, but most of the time they just leave gay men alone. They’re often young fujoshi raised in conservative societies, and they usually grow out of it once they mature or realize they’re queer.
Sorry if I sound like an ass, but gay men who feel victimized and oppressed by fujoshi , i can't take it seriously. It’s one thing if they get homophobic attacks from fujoshi, but why are they always hostile to fujoshi who are minding their own business? It’s such a nothingburger problem. It’s fine if you don’t like yaoi and fujoshi, but acting like they’re the devil and contribute to homophobia is funny. Fujoshi don’t have that kind of power, and most fujoshi communities nowadays don’t tolerate homophobia and call out the homophobic ones.
Anyway, I think gay men really need to stop acting like they’re being oppressed by young girls and women who like gay shipping. It’s hard to take this fetishization seriously when most of these women only ship fictional characters and rarely bother real gay men (in fact, most fujoshi don’t even want to get involved with real men). I need to say this: if you really feel this way, you need to get a real problem. This isn’t to say gay men don’t have it worse. They do, and gay men are also susceptible to violent homophobia (especially feminine gay men). I just wish they’d bring that up instead of going “uwaa, those evil fujo are fetishizing me by reading yaoi.”
Gay men need to understand fujoshi/slash shipper aren't their enemies, never was.
We can absolutely criticize BL/Fujoshi, and gay men especially can, but I wish it came from a place of care and open-mindedness rather than close-minded generalizations that treat all BL as a rape fetish (when a lot of gay media by gay men also contains rape content and even fetishizes it). Modern BL is much better. While there are fetishy works, there are also works that include LGBT issues and often have happy endings. In fact, after the Yaoi Ronsō and criticism from gay activists, a lot of contemporary BL is willing to include gay male characters in manga, discuss LGBT issues and queer struggles, collaborate with gay activists, and so on. It’s more varied now, and even gay otaku say modern BL adheres to gay male taste. That means fujoshi listen to criticism just fine, right? Especially when it’s given in good faith and not maliciously hostile for no reason.
It’s hard to take criticism of fujoshi and BL on social media seriously when it’s always the same old dance: “yaoi is full of rape! fujoshi are homophobic fetishizers!” Most of it comes from people out of touch with the BL scene who just parrot outdated prejudices & being malicious.
BL and fujoshi aren’t perfect, but that goes for other genres and communities too (even yuri and yuri fans). So why do people act like BL and its fans are the most homophobic, when fandom dudebros, filled with cishet men, are way more homophobic (often get away with it), and mainstream media gets away with harmful LGBT stereotypes? It’s like people expect fujoshi to have perfect politics, which is insane. Liking BL isn’t activism. this doesn't mean you cannot criticize fujoshi and BL but come on lol, this just feel one-sided. when homophobic men get to say slur without repercussions and criticism, constantly harass lesbian while consuming lesbian porn, etc
Also, this recent wave of anti-fujoshi sentiment is deeply misogynistic. you can't convince me otherwise